A little ambiguity, good or bad?

Everyone tends to have ambiguity in their life. For me graduate school was a whole lot of ambiguous experiences, but I think they served me to think and be more sure of my decisions and my clinical judgement. But in the past few weeks, I think I have been faced with lots of it, starting a job and Jace's sugery which are both not exactly super awesome. I constantly wondered what is going to happen? Will people be nice? Will we be fine? Yuck, I hate it! But usually do a few things to make it a little better, so here they are:
1. Talking to people who are close to me. I am known to not share  too much with people unless they are very close being, which is weird because in my field we try to encourage people to talk to others (what a weirdoo, right?)
2. A little self talk about how irrational I am being, it usually goes like STOP BEING A WEIRDOO  think about what you are saying everything is going to be fine.
3.Take my mind off of it, maybe by exercising or even watching mindless TV.
But I guess sometimes its easier than other times, do you have any good ways to deal with it?

Hello from Waco!

From

So we are finally in Waco, Texas. I know what you all must be thinking- "It is not a really fun city." I can definitely say it is no Austin or Houston, but it is a change of scenery and an adventure for me and Jace. I was excited and happy to know that not only did I get to live in a new place but I would also get to start the last step in my graduate school journey, my doctoral internship, YAY!!! For now, we are finally settled and we have a home instead of a bunch of boxes in every single room. For anyone moving, I feel so sorry for you moving is no fun (this is coming from someone who had movers for the big items).

During the past few weeks we also were told when Jace's surgery would be... August 13th in Houston. I said so soon, but in all reality we knew it was coming. I also thought how will I manage a move, a new job, and a husband having major surgery. Well I have taken care of the first two and for now I have truly tried to take a new perspective, worry about what is happening now, everything else will work itself out. I am still planning as much as a can for Jace's recovery, but it is difficult since his recovery is pretty much unknown territory. So for those of you wondering what I am going to do since I have just started a new job, well the veteran affairs healthcare system (VA) is wonderful and I may be able to take some sick leave and/or annual leave even though I have not earned it. Yes people this is definitely the best place to work. Also, they have a program where other employees of the VA can donate leave to you, after hearing this I thought what best place to ask for a little help but blogger land! If any of you are employees or know anyone working in the VA system that would be willing to donate some leave let me know. Jace and I will be eternally grateful!

Well now the serious business...

After a wonderful weekend with my family, Jace and I went to the dreaded appointment at MD Anderson. Yes I know they are great there, but lately we have not been getting many good news therefore I dislike it! After we arrived, the first huge sign we both saw at the airport was MD Anderson Making Cancer History. It was like someone was saying "wake up, remember you have to go to MD tomorrow!" I reacted with "Thanks for the reminder!"

We have been pretty calm despite the tough challenge we could be facing, whether Jace's new chemo would work. There were two options on the table if the chemotherapy worked, Jace would probably have to receive more chemo. If the chemo did not work then Jace's right lung would be removed followed by 6 weeks of radiation. So yesterday after being in the hospital for 6 1/2 hours we saw the oncologist. She said that the tumors had stayed stable, but there had not been a reduction in the size of them. These were definitely NOT the news that I wanted to hear, because then she quickly followed with "me and the surgeon spoke and we will have to go ahead and remove the right lung and part of the pleura." My heart dropped and I definitely didn't know what to say, except feel like I wanted to run away like a six year old crying. Neither one of us ran away and yes we were able to ask a few questions. Today I feel like I should not think about it too much, because I may open some floodgates that are not going to close any time soon. But I am truly telling myself "it is going to be ok, we will get through it." I am not quite sure if currently I have some denial or I am just doing a great deal of avoidance, but I keep on thinking one step at a time I have to take care of today, don't think of what could happen.

For now I think one thing that I will truly appreciate from everyone is thinking and praying that Jace will do amazing and that we will get through it!

Albuquerque and Family Time

The past week was AWESOME! I was in Albuquerque spending some major time with my lovely family. It was about 85 degrees the whole time I was there and there was no HUMIDITY! I love it there! It was the first time back since December to be back, which believe me is extremely very hard. I did see all of them during my wedding in March, but I still have a hard time not seeing them every day, opps I meant to say every couple of months (Jace says I am crazy and he does not understand how I talk so much with my mom, but I guess I have a lot to say).

Here is a picture with my lovely mom during the wedding, hopefully soon I can post a little more about the trip.

What is cooking?

I have always had a love for cooking. For me it has always been a time to relax and try new things. After Jace and I met it also became a time when we both could share our day and could try a million different foods. Yes, you have guessed it we loooove food. Let's be real cooking at home is much cheaper and healthier than going out. After Jace started chemotherapy, I started cooking non-stop but these meals were very bland :( Things have changed a little since the middle of May when he started the new chemo cocktail, now we are back to cooking all kinds of meals. This past week, we were able to share a few meals with some lovely friend and they loved the following, so here are a few pictures and recipes for you to try!

Stuffed Bell Peppers
 

What do I need?
4 green or red bell peppers
1 lb flank steak
1 medium onion
2 Tbsp olive oil
Provolone or mozzarella cheese
Salt and pepper

How do I make it?
1. Cut a side of each of the bell peppers, take out all the seeds (I take out pretty much everything from the inside to have as much space for the meat). 
2. Mince the onion.
3. Cut the meat into small strips, season the meat with salt and pepper (if you want more flavor use a spicy rub from any grocery store).
4. In a pan (medium to medium high heat), saute the minced onion in the olive oil, add the flank steak and cook for a few minutes.
5. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
6. Put a little cheese in the bottom of the hollow bell peppers, add the meat mixture until they are pretty full, and then add another layer of cheese on top.
7. Bake in the oven for about 15 minutes.

Greek Style Tomato and Feta Tart

What do I need?

Phyllo pastry sheets (5 to 10 sheets per tart)

Red and yellow cherry tomatoes about 1 cup.

Feta cheese, crumbled

1 Tbsp of chopped fresh oregano

A few sprigs of fresh thyme

Melted butter

Salt, pepper, and garlic powder

How do I make it?

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

2. Follow the instructions on the phyllo pastry sheets package to thaw it.

3. Cut the cherry tomatoes in half.

4. Use about 5 to 10 sheets of phyllo per tart. As the package explains you must use one sheet, then brush melted butter on the sides of the dough, then add another sheet until you are done with the amount of layers you would like.  Then brush melted butter on the top of the whole last layer and fold the sides.

5. Put the dough in a baking sheet, sprinkle the tomatoes, oregano, feta cheese, sprigs of thyme, salt, pepper, and garlic powder on top of the phyllo dough.

6. Bake for 8 to 10 minutes until golden brown. 

**This recipe is great for a summer night, because it is very light.  

I hope you enjoy making and eating these recipes!!!!

  

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Well here I am...

So for a couple of years I have been following many blogs and I love going through my daily routine of reading blogs and feeling like I know the individuals. Sometimes I have even told myself meeting this person would be awesome! So after thinking about it for a few months and going through what seems like a hurricane in my personal life I have decided to start my own.

So for those of you that wonder what kind of hurricane here is a little recap: I have been in graduate school doing my doctorate for the past 4 years - I am almost done, no worries! I have been married for almost 4 months (it was a wonderful wedding in COSTA RICA where I am from). About two weeks before our wedding we were given the news that my husband's cancer had returned grrrr! So after our honeymoon, he would have to start chemotherapy. After two months of chemotherapy, we were informed that the tumors had continued to grow and we would be doing something else. After some very scary deliberation, they decided to change the chemotherapy cocktail, I like to think about it as switching from a Piña Colada to a Mojito which I like way better). So here we are a month later trying to stay strong and positive despite all the negativity that the world can give you. In a month we will also be taking another step by moving to another city in Texas, so I can finish the last year of my degree (yay!!). So I like to think of all of these experiences as challenges that we must get through, but I am hoping in the next couple of years we can have a reward or two.

So now I just want to let you all know that for me and my husband, we choose to see the good in daily life and we choose to be happy. I truly hope sharing and being real allows me to continue getting stronger and growing because I feel we all constantly need that.